Reply To: Correcting a misconception about parnassah

DH:

Sounds like a Boro Park apartment 🙂

Seriously, I see you are really offended.

The Joke is not specificly regarding those in Kollel, just those who have no plan of supporting their family. If the family is willing, they can live like an Israeli, without “Ketchup & Deodorant” (A direct quote from I believe the prior Chevron Rosh Yeshiva ZTL).

I have no idea how you live, and neither do you me (I lived somewhere “smaller than your living room” when I started out. We can go at this all day if you want).

If you have “a plan”, good for you. If your “plan” is to have a permanent honeymoon, then the joke applies.

As far as “supporting Torah”, if the parents feel forced into supporting, it is Karov to Gezel (same halacha as a Matana from someone who doesn’t really want to give it, but feels coerced). Now I know of many parents who are thrilled to support, and work only to support their children learning. All the better for them (personally, I would like to retire & learn full time myself).

Also, if the child is having a honeymoon and not learning to the best of his ability (like spending time in the YWN CR:-(, it is understandable that the parents are resentful.

So, being that your father likes the joke: Does he support you (or another sibling)? The Yated had a number of letters/articles regarding parents, children and support, and how it breeds resentment and anger. Perhaps he is resentful towards you, and that is how it comes out?

Now I could be reading this all wrong, and I’m sorry you are offended, but perhaps you should tell your father (or FIL) “thanks for all the years, but I’m a big boy now and B”H no longer need or want the support”?

Maybe he will even think better of Kollel Yungalight in general, and well as you, his son (or daughter)?