“If one has good midos and is married with a normal healthy mindset based on simple, common love (yes, I said the dirty L word) there will naturally be respect, caring and unconditional acceptance of one another.”
I think the way it works is the other way around- when there is respect, caring, (ecceptance too I guess) then real love can grow, or in a young couples case- come..
“Marriage is not supposed to be a way to propel your own self image to greater heights of satisfaction based on the others accomplishments.”
Agree, but I dont think thats the issue. The dude is not waking up!! Thats a problem, and it effects the entire home. U cant just turn a blind eye and say- Wer all our own ppl, it shouldnt bother me.. It definately should bother u if someone u care about is going through a rough time with something!!
“A wife / husband has no business whatsoever being the other spouses referee in life. He / she is not the other one’s mashgiach.”
Agreed. But asking for advice on something that is clearly an issue for BOTH, or occasionally waking him up at 10:30 isnt exactly that much.
Marriage is a partnership. Yes, one leaning on the other too much is wrong, and each person needs to be responsible for himself as a whole. But dont make it like this shouldnt be an issue, and it shouldnt bother her in the slightest. That would be very self centerd.