Truth be told, looks have to do directly with the marriage. There are other things which do not or ,at least, should not matter. Certain hakpodos come from midos ra’os. These midos ra’os are the root of the sinas chinam which keeps us in golus. The Gemora at the end of Ta’anis says the the day that different shvatim were allowed to intermarry is a yom tov!
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