I know it’s all been said already I just felt the urge to comment anyway…
I feel like a lot of people look at tznius as so much less than what it really is. Of course there’s the halacha, but that’s just the stepping stone to try to get you to feel tznius so that you can act tznius and be tznius, in all senses of the term. It’s hard to be a tznius person in your actions when your clothing is telling you that you’re not that type of person. It’s hard to believe that adding an inch to your skirt can help you feel like a better person but I’ve experienced it and I’m sure others can attest to the fact that it’s true. Even the dumbest and tiniest changes you make in your clothes makes a difference in your self perception.
I once learned (and I think it’s so true) that with tznius, if you just feel that for some reason, something may not be 100% right, YOU’RE PROBABLY RIGHT. Don’t doubt that little feeling inside of you that’s telling you that MAYBE there’s something wrong. It’s tough because although the halacha guidelines may seem so strict at times they feel SO vague. “Okay, I know I can’t wear tight clothes – but is this even tight? I shouldn’t wear something that makes me stand out too much – but please, I’m going to stand out if I DON’T wear this. Or, Come on, no one’s going to be looking at me when there are so many people dressed worse than me on the street.” etc etc etc. We paskin for ourselves every day when we get dressed. That one piece of advice has helped me decide not to wear something many a time. You have to listen for a little voice inside your head telling you “no”, and if it’s not there, then you know you’re good. If you do hear it, LISTEN TO IT. And that’s a must.
looking2grow – I’m sure your mother is an amazing person but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have more sensitivities than her in some areas. Don’t doubt that sensitivity that you have, because these sensitivities are your (and everybody’s) real key to tznius.