binahyeseira
Ok, I’m going to try to answer your question, but please know that everything I write is so much easier said than done.
It seems to me that you really do believe that Hashem runs the show, and that in a way, it’s pointless to get angry, because…hey, The Boss said it’s good, so it’s gotta be so, right?
If I read you right, then your question is really: Once I understand that Hashem custom-designed this situation for me (however uncomfortable it may be), how do I internalize it to the extent that I feel it inside?
At this point I usually think to myself: Hashem, I know this is what’s best. But it sucks for me right now, because I don’t know what You know. Please, please, please don’t let this get to me. Help me handle this calmly, because from where I’m seeing things, this is no fun.
Saying this makes my knowledge all the more real. I don’t only KNOW IN MY HEAD that Hashem made this my problem, but I ACKNOWLEDGE IT (mentally or verbally)and make it a joint effort between Him and me to help me get through this.
You do this enough times, trust me, it’ll be in your heart.
Much Hatzlacha!