Wolf. I don’t know why you’re waisting so much time defending your position
I’m a glutton for punishment.
writting a loving note to your spouce is perefectly OK. So is holding hands and even a loving peck on the cheek. If you don’t like it don’t do it
You know, there is a stereotype out there that yeshivish and chassidic marriages are not very loving because they didn’t get to know each other before the wedding and they only dated X number of times or the marriage was arranged or whatever. But then they turn around and say “no, our marriage is very loving.” Without any evidence to the contrary, I’m inclined to believe them when they say this and disregard the stereotype.
But then, some of the same crowd say that it’s assur to express love to your wife or to show affection or the like, even in private*. So I’m sometimes left to wonder how these marriages can *possibly* be loving if the couple wasn’t allowed to get to know each other well beforehand AND they’re not allowed to show affection even in private *after* they’re married.
I’m forced to conclude that either the stereotype is correct (which I don’t really believe) or else some people say one thing but secretly do another.
The Wolf
*(Or, as MR so eloquently put it: …things of affectin between manand wife should be kept as little as possible and even then what theyre is should be kept private. Writing love notes is goyish and chukas akum. )