I know that this may not be popular, but as someone who was a treasurer at a school, you have to realize that any tuition reduction you get is being funded by the public.
While knowing where people shop and what groceries they buy may be a little too intrusive, having an accurate understanding of a family’s cash flow is necessary to understand their financial needs.
Some people try the best that they can (and even more than that sometimes) and still cannot come close to paying. I highly respect those that make a valiant effort. They do the best they can, while living in the means that Hashem has provided.
OTOH, Some people cry poverty, but spend $10,000 for a Pesach vacation. That is not fair, nor honest. If a relative paid for them, it’s less dishonest. If your kids’ chinuch is a primary need, then you need to prioritize it financially, including where to spend gifts. If it’s not a priority, then maybe try public school.
I compare it to buying a new car. Don’t go to the Cadillac dealer and say I can’t afford it, so give me half off. The community has an obligation to help each other, but if someone is going to be wasteful, then I don’t see much obligation to help them.