I’m a boy in the parsha right now and I felt the urge to comment after reading this thread. Firstly, if you’re a parent that has a child in shidduchim,, please get on the same page with them. Remember that they are the ones dating and it’s their future at stake. You may want something different, that’s for you and your child to work out before dating. I have dated girls who are looking for something completely different than what their parents are setting them up with.
Secondly, for those people who put down middos and everything is secondary, I don’t believe you. Middos may be a extremely important characteristic, but intellect, looks, family, level of religiousness, play an extremely large role. I know plenty of people in shidduchim (both boys and girls) and anyone who has said they only cared about middos suddenly started caring about other things when I tried setting them up.
Thirdly, take a look in the mirror and judge yourself first. Consider it like the job interview question, name 2 strengths and 2 weaknesses. Everyone has things they can work on, and this way you know what your date might like and not like about you.
P.S. if you leave in NY I’m finding it hard to believe that you can’t daven shachris and maariv with a minyan. I hope there is a good reason for you to consistently miss minyan. I work a extremely demanding job in the city and found time to go to a nightly daf yomi shiur. I may not make it every single day but more likely than not I’m there.