“The one takonoh I would like to see enforced is a maximum # of people invited (say 300)”
I think (in my limited understanding) that thats where they went wrong. They said that a Rebbi can invite more than the allotted (200 per side?) because he knows more people.
What of someone who comes from a family of 10, is the youngest, whose parent is 1 of 8? Do you know how big these weddings are just from immediate family alone?
What of someone who has a special needs child that feels tremendous gratitude to the community and invites EVERYONE they know to the siblings wedding as a way of showing Hakaras HaTov for all theyve done for the special needs sibling?
What of someone who is an only child and this is the ONLY wedding the parents are going to make so they go all out?
I have been to all these weddings. Once you limit something like guests you lose most of the audience.