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Wolf: Totally agree that, for the chosson/kallah, it’s not coming to them and they do have to understand that sometimes situations change. However, parents have to use seichel and realize that it’s very easy to get swept up in all of the excitement, but after the wedding, you are left with huge bills that have to be paid.
Always here was sick over this the entire engagement. It is her simcha too. a person does not have to buckle under from the pressure. I find it so chutzpadik that the mechutanim wanted the same huge chasunah as the rest of their kids had. Very nice. Who is footing the bill? If they have money and really want to have the “same”, they should have paid the difference. How can you enforce your life style on someone who can’t afford it? Then we are wondering where is the chutzpah coming from? We are wondering about broken shiduchim and marriages. If a person is raised with the attitude that a temper tantrum is carried for long enough, he/she will get to have it. No matter the cost. Maybe for the first couple of tantrums, they get the new car, shaitel, ring, house, vacations, whatever. Fill in the blank your choice of luxury, but after a while, that a spouse can no longer handle it. How much money earned is “enough” to live on? Whatever is given is not good enough, not fast enough.