oomis – once again, you are flipping out about something that is chivalrous (by definition – something a knight would do – lifnim mishuras hadin) and you are not even giving the girl the right to decide if she appreciates it. I am sure the girl was asking if he was a stalker as a joke. Stop with the rules. Why can’t dating be 2 people who just want to try to be themselves, develop a relationship and not be looking to follow every rule about dating? I guarantee that half the rules go out the window when they’re married anyway (which may or may not be ok. I don’t think it’s mandatory for a husband to open the car door for his wife). these chivalrous acts are not prerequisites for being a decent human being. And may I ask, what would you do if your husband acted immaturely or not nice or not chivalrous? divorce him for being a bulvan?! Or maybe (and I know this sounds crazy) TALK ABOUT IT WITH HIM! Be a mature adult and realize that even if he does something horrible like drip mustard on his tie (never happened to me personally but I realize it may b a turnoff), he may still be a good person who wants to grow and will treat his wife like a wonderful aishes chayil provided that she clue him into the fact that she appreciates certain things. Maybe he is ignorant of the walk to the door! Is that so terrible? Many guys are ignorant of many things before their Chosson Shmooze and the first few months of marriage. And guess what?! so are girls!! It’s not like the fact that he didn’t walk you to the door is an indicator that he is abusive or anything close to that. As we have seen on this board there are many reasons he may not walk her to the door. Most of them have nothing to do with him being selfish or uncaring. I would love to know what your top 5 important things are to look for when dating a guy, oomis. And be specific, please. Don’t tell me “that he should be a mentsch”, because that is a broad statement that has many possible meanings.
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