This might be long but heres my take on it:
The system is what I think causes the kids to start having thoughts against Judaism and if a persons relationship with their parents starts getting strained they turn away.
The system need to be revamped completely because its killing people. It’s turning chumros into Halachos and doesn’t prioritize the right things.
It’s NOT okay to throw a girl physically off the bus becuase you don’t want to sit next to her. It’s not okay to push in front of a girl but when she gets indignant not talk to her.
Don’t yell at a girl who’s wearing skirts above her knees to wear tights.
Attendance should not be more important than davening.
People need to learn to prioritize and get their halachos straight. And not focus too much on chumros and “thats what everyone does”
The system is strangling people, and the natural inclination of a person when they are getting strangled is to run away!!!! So why would it be any different when people are feeling strangled like there is only this narrow path:
be a kolell guy, marry a kollel guy live in a basement apartment in Lakewood have 60 kids, be a teacher… and if you do anything else then you are a bad person and going to hell.
So if I’m anyways going to hell so why should I do all those hard things? Like get up at 5:30 to daven…
It’s the parents job to show the kid that Torah is beautiful and it’s NOT the way they’re teaching it in schools.