Sam2, look at the Rama, I believe in E”H 22, who says the minhag is to be meikil on many things. From what I read, which seems almost impossible for me to believe that I am understanding it right, men were allowed to have a female servant bathe them. I assume this involved some physical contact, but do not know what the Rama means. If somebody can shed light on this, and explain, please do so.
One of the nosei keilim there says that these restrictions all depend on the type of person one knows himself to be. That is why some amoraim picked up the kallah to dance with her.