I am also getting the feeling that the OP simply posted this topic as bait.
However, as a “kollel wife” for many years, I take great offense at the implication that most individuals learning in Kollel are doing it on “someone else’s dime” and are somehow less independent/ grown up. Disclaimer: I never lived in Lakewood. That being said, in the large Kollel community I was part of (in the NY area — not out of town), a vast majority of the families were supported by the wife working, combined with odds and ends (husband tutoring/teaching on his lunch break, jobs in camps Bain Hazmanim,etc.).
I got a degree in an area that I knew commanded a decent salary because I very much wanted to marry someone for whom “toraso hu umnoso”, and as my parents themselves are both mechanchim I knew that they would not be “supporting” me. (Disclaimer #2 My parents did pay for my schooling — although I know many wives who even did that on their own) We lived in a small apartment and did not spend excessively, but B”H we always lived a normal life. We went on occasional vacations, ate out for special events, etc. I kept an eye out for sales, and sometimes received “hand me downs” but mostly bought my kids new clothes.
Between my salary, the extras my husband was able to make, and living a fiscally responsible lifestyle, we not only supported ourselves, but saved regularly. (Our parents gave us occasional gifts such as some paraphernalia when our kids were born, etc., but did not “support us”. We also never qualified for any government programs due to my salary.) We were not unusual in my circles, and most of my friends were doing the same thing.
True, it is not the wife’s ultimate responsibility, and there are many factors to such a discussion, such as it’s implications regarding child care. But that is something decided between a husband and wife (and hopefully his rabbeim). A Kollel lifestyle is a partnership between spouses (as all aspects of marriage are!) There are many women out there who proudly and gladly commit to that partnership.
That being said, if parents want the zchus to support a child in learning, I don’t see why that is a problem. If they have the money and want to support Torah learning, why shouldn’t that support go to their own child? I know of a family where when the mother found out that her son-in-law was considering leaving Kollel as finances were getting tight, she decided to go back to work in order to help her children stay in learning. (Until that point they had been managing independently — the daughter would never have dreamed of choosing a lifestyle for herself and making her parents pay. The mother on her own valued her daughter and son-in-law’s learning, and wanted it to continue.) They ended up staying in Kollel quite a few more years — all to the zchus of this mother!