Bjjkid, for most of us, if a shadchan is needed to propose for the boy, he is too much of a boy and not enough of a man yet, to be getting married. there is nothing goyish about proposing. My son in law took my daughter to the Vanderbilt Museum to see the planetarium. It was very romantic seeing all those stars. After the show, he took her to a beautiful spot on the grounds, where he had roses and some other things he’d set up waiting for them, and proposed to her. Please do not try to lessen the impact of that beautiful and unforgettable moment for her, by saying you think it was “goyish.” By all means live your life differently if you so desire, but don’t cast a negative pall on it, just because you don’t feel it’s a Jewish thing to do. By the way, it is a very Jewish thing – I am sure Shlomo Hamelech would have had something to say about it. He wrote very romantically in Shir Hashirim, and even though we say it was an allegory of the loving relationship between Hashem and Am Yisroel, nevertheless the terminology which he uses proves that he had a very romantic soul.
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