showerzinger:
Obviously you have to do chessed, but a person has to choose wisely which chessed to get involved with. For a very rigid person who sees only black and white, to try and be mekarev at-risk-teens would NOT be a chessed. For a person who can’t relate to people with poor grooming and hygiene, having them at your Shabbos table would NOT be a chessed.
Talking about the people you are trying to help is NOT a chessed.