Reply To: Am I shallow?

@coffeefan-

First of all I didn’t mention that as my reason for saying no, and trust me I feel much worse than you do (whether or not you believe me is your decision). I don’t know what my saying no had to do with society’s standards or what you really mean by “standards” because I guess that all dating is whether or not we go by the other’s “standards.” I don’t need anyone to meet society’s standards just that I should find the other person attractive. I spent much time trying to convince myself that I could find her attractive but it didn’t work. A quick question-would it be any different if the girl was really skinny and the boy was attracted to larger woman? would you say the same thing? I’m having a hard time understanding why you think that I’m silly, do you think it isn’t important that spouses be attracted to each other?

@behappy

I see where you are coming from a bit more, but what about any situation which is a make or break for people, would you say that people shouldn’t care if the girl/boy has a disease chas v’shalom? couldn’t you say the same thing that would you leave your wife if she developed something? of course not! but men placht un gut tracht. If a girl isn’t skinny now she probably won’t ever be or care to lose weight if she does put it on. I make sure to exercise but if she ends up putting weight on after marriage, ok that’s what hashem has in mind for me.