FRUMLADYGIT:
Bullies bully for a few reasons:
* They are angry that they were abused at an earlier stage and by putting on a show of bravado people will avoid abusing him again.
* They have psychological problems which they get a thrill from watching the victim suffer.
* They are connected and know that the society they are part of will give them a free pass.
How do they correct themselves?
Type 1: They mature and come to a realization that there is a difference between assertiveness and abusiveness. This causes them to tone down their behaviors naturally.
Type 2: They will be abusive and violent until they receive special intervention.
Type 3: They will NEVER correct themselves because they know that the community leaders adore them and won’t dare say a peep about their behaviors. They will eventually cross the line and end up in the court system.
Practical steps:
Type 1: Hook him/her up with positive role models (it doesn’t have to be a relative) who can show how to act assertive and get things done just as effectively with a smile on the face.
Type 2: Get PSYCH Consultation.
Type 3: Put pressure on the local rabbonim and community members to stand up to the bully and stop adoring a bully like this, or his/her future actions will be squarely on their hands.
Teshuva:
If the bully’s actions caused a LOSS of any kind, or a LIFE ALTERING EVENT to occur teshuva can be a lifelong endeavor.