b/c the main issue is not the guys getting what they want. the main problem is the encouragement of values that are the antithesis of what they allegedly stand for. you are right, its no ones business what individuals do in their own life, but when it kind of becomes an acceptable “movement”, thats when society protests.
the erosion of basic values is what I find wrong, especially when it seems like “bnei Torah” are the ones calling the shots. when you hear that the guys want looks, money, yichus, talent, blah blah blah in addition to everything else (middos, chesed, etc)it seems that b/c of their status as shtark learners, they can demand whatever they want.
its also everyone’s business because of the pressure this puts on girls in our society, to always look like models, dressed to kill, say they want only learning boys (pressure gets transferred to daddy to foot the kollel bill), get into to the top seminaries, etc….
again, what each individual does is their business. when it becomes a societal thing, its a big deal. it is NOT ok to have boys demand perfection, just because they can get away with it.