sorry until i see consistent medical proof that smoking directly kills i don’t see the big deal health wise,if were talking about the smell bothering is something else. but 2 break a shidduch for that seems stupid to me.”
Either you have been sequestered in a Beis Medrash that did not allow you access to a newspaper, radio, or human contact with a medical facility, or you are just a stubborn, rationalizing smoker. NO ONE intelligent would argue the first words of your sentence. Only someone who is so addicted to his cancer sticks that he refuses to face his eventual GREAT probability of developing lung, throat, stomach, bladder, or some other smoke-related cancer, or emphysema (of which my dear uncle, O”H died, quite painfully, after years of suffering attached to an an oxygen tank, as his family suffered with him).
Now let’s talk about the “smell” you mentioned. You are used to it, but anyone who smokes, STINKS. He stinks, his clothes stink, his house stinks, his car (we had to rent a car this week and the stench was pervasive from the previous renter), his body and most especially, his mouth. It is very unpleasant to try to have a conversation with a smoker EVEN IF HE IS NOT SMOKING AT THE TIME!
I am not even going to discuss the issue of second-hand smoke, which has killed innocent people who never picked up a cigarette in their lives, including small babies who lived with smokers and had respiratory infection after respiratory infection.
Try to keep telling yourself that you are right and the rest of the world is wrong; that is typical of a smoker. Keep ignoring the facts, and most especially keep writing what you wrote about “seeing consistent proof.” The only way you can possibly not have seen such proof, is that you close your eyes whenever the reports are sitting in front of you. You ought to visit a cancer ward and see the patients who have lung cancer. I doubt you ever will though. It might just make you quit smoking, something which you clearly do not want to do, even though you are killing yourself and hurting your family and friends who love you.
BTW, not directed specifically at you: Anyone who dares to compare smoking to obesity, is grasping at straws. Unquestionably obesity is a health problem for many people. But unless an overweight person is feeding the same garbage to the children, they will not “catch” anything potentially lethal from her. Smokers, however, potentially can cause cancer to develop in people in their home who do not smoke. This is fact.
So no, I would never allow (nor would they want to) my daughters to date “occasional” smokers, much less smokers who are into it. Promising to give it up for ” the right girl,” is no promise at all, and actually is quite insulting when you think about it.