MG613; Thanks, that explains it. If you can, try to help those
friends see the light. The root cause for this rationalization
stems from a fear of commitment, or an unrealistic fairytale view
of what it would take to make them go “the whole nine yards”.
To confirm this, you should be seeing a repeated pattern of this
similar excuse frequently being used to end it, after a nice few
times. To help this person see this clearly, simply point out
that every potential shidduch that seems to be going well,
usually gets the same label, where they feel like really good
friends, but nothing beyond that. Even from the words “nothing
beyond that” although I doubt it’s an exact quote, seems to hint
fear of the future, or fear of opening up, using the
word “friends” as a limit and nothing beyond as a barrier or cut
off point. Hatzlacha! Helping a person with a problem in
dating, is as if you helped them find their Basherte,
for you are giving them a chance to allow the partner that’s
right for them, into their lives.