AZ. It is a pay to play set up. You keep saying so. Right now, you are shaking down girls and their families because “the present reality is such that the boys parents are in the drivers seat and are not ready to do it as by and large they will just have someone else redd them a shidduch” (these are your words). What you are saying is, the girls and their families are desperate, we can shake them down for a few dollars, the boys, they have options, we cant shake them down, yet. As much as you keep mixing in mentchlechkeit and legitimate compensation for people who are providing a service, I get the feeling that it is mere lip service, and the true motivation is your comment about boys having elsewhere to go while the girls do not, so you feel it is easier to prey on their desperation.
If this was a matter of pure mentchlechkeit, or even a pure business matter – you use my service, pay for it – then this would extend evenly to all parties at all times.