tryingmybest: Those are examples of normal marital conflict. Abuse is different. When an abuser is described as having mood swings – we’re talking about being really sweet one minute, hitting her the next minute. Abuse is not “why didn’t you take out the garbage”, it’s things that are not appropriate to write on yeshiva world.
Actions don’t match words – we are talking about psychopathic behaviors. Why don’t you look up the definition of sociopath and abuse.
I have a close family member who litigates divorces in the yeshivish/heimish community, and he says that 95% of divorces are the fault of the man. I also heard a big Rav saying the same thing. While yes both sides can be at faults, we have to be practical, and rescue women first, find out the facts later, or we risk losing and ruining many lives.