Reply To: Abusive marriages

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#722109
fabie
Member

Flowers – I’m quite certain if you take every relationship out of context you could get those results. Honestly, it takes two to tango, you really need to know what and why these things are happening.

Yes going too far is definitely a dangerous sign!

He promised to clean out the garage — week after week after week after week — and never came through?

Hay you’ve got me on this one, but no reason to rush to divorce for this alone.

Agree here as well, on both sides though. Abused women tend to be abusive as well, to both their spouses and to their children.

Here are some of steps in how to deal with most situations.

1. Speak openly to your spouse about your suffering and lack of satisfaction. Never expect immediate solutions or immediate agreement. Learning to solve problems together is the best solution. Don’t run away just because he/she may be annoyed by what you have to say. Don’t hold anger in. Try seeking simple advice from those both of you respect. Don’t play the get even game, or lets play fare game. You forget to say hello nicely, so I will do the same. Each person should concentrate on their own giving and rules. Communicate difficult issues when the times are the most favorable. Both are in a good mood. No children crying in the background, etc. If you feel you are being abused, try respond with favorable deeds. Look for positive feedback from your partner, and then go with it. Never get family members involved.

2. If 1 doesn’t work, ask your spouse if their is anyone he would suggest that might be able to solve the previous issues.

3. If he/she still refuses ask if he/she would be disturbed if they saw someone agreed upon for support.

4. Finally, if none of those work, seek help by yourself.

That’s my rant for now.