also, I’m a bad person to ask about this. I believe that we are all individuals with individual traits. Many people (not enough) are able to learn from their failings and many more are able to learn from their parents failings.
Do children of alcoholics all become alcoholics? Some do, but many avoid it because they watched what happened to their parents.
Every person needs to be given the opportunity to change and learn.
Also, I’m a bad person to ask about this. My wife is twice-divorced and her parents were divorced. High risk, eh? But I was convinced that she had changed the behaviors that contributed to her divorces and she would not do those same things with me. I considered her character and her ability to change her behaviors. I would only marry her if I was sure that I could be her last husband.
For the most part, I was right. Occasionally those behaviors creep into our relationship and I point them out, and she endeavors to correct them quickly. She recognizes them right away and changes them.
I wanted to marry this woman, she was extremely special. She completed me. She was better for me then any of the undivorced women I had met. It took some convincing by her and by me that things would be different this time and they are.
We all contribute to our own lives by the choices we make. Thank heavens we are able to control many of those choices.
Would I consider entering into a shidduch with someone from a divorced home? It depends so much on the person. There are no guarantees in the marriage game. Look carefully not only at his family situation but at the boy’s character and his ability to effectively change behaviors he wishes to change.