i do have experience in this area
many years ago i was asked to do something by a relative
i decided not to and she went elsewhere
it turned out to be a disaster
if i had done it it would have been very painful for both of us each time we saw each other, forever!
and her immediate family as well.
in addition i think i would have felt ashamed in front of my whole family even though i knew it wasnt my fault
this stands out as one of the best decisions i ever made, with the help of Hashem of course