It is a misconception that guys are obsessed with stunning girls. While every male is mortal, and it’s definetly a plus, the hakpada that guys have is “normal” “nice” even “pretty” – which means that the vast majority of girls who know how to put themselves together are fine. Occasionally you have a guy who insist on a supermodel, but that is genuinely rare. Overweight says to a guy “she’s letting herself go” – it’s the same in marriage. Men want their wives to care; not be perfect.
This is emes l’amito. I recently had the son of a friend get married. We had them over for shabbos, and he is a yeshivish tom cruise, and we had always laughed and figured he would end up with the same.
I had the zechus of meeting an intelligent, fine, tzanau bas yisrael – a perfectly normal girl, but one that you wouldn’t expect to find with tom cruise ( am I behind on the times? does he have grandkids by now?). Because – him, like most guys, is scared of overweight, and is looking for a normal – read, 75% of female population – girl, who knows how to take care of herself. Other then that? It was about middos, haskafafah and compatibility (she wasn’t wealthy, nor is her father a rosh yeshiva). He’s just a good boy, who was looking for good girl. Shoen. That’s really, the honest truth, and I’ve dabbled in shidduchim for a while, and know my customers.
Of course, this is all independent of fair and true etc. etc.. – it just is. The only thing that is a deal breaker to most guys is overweight. This illusion that boys demand a size two is false. “I don’t need Ms. America, just spare me Mius America”