Charlie
“I think RSRH is correct. And remember that we honor those who die al kiddush HaShem. I have even heard shiurim by rabbonim saying that that is the highest thing to which a Jew can aspire.”
You are likely referring to rabbi Akiva and the Asara Heirugei Malchus where Rabbi Akiva was smiling while reciting Shema as the Romans brutally combed his flesh off his body, so his students asked him how could he smile? So he told his students “I waited my whole life to be Mekayem To love Hashem with all my heart and with all my soul (nafshecha) now that I get that opportunity I shouldnt smile?”
But in essence we dont want to die. We dont ask Hashem please send non Jews to kill us so we can die Al Kiddush Hashem. The greatest accomplishment a Jew can achieve is living like a Jew keeping the Torah and growing in Torah and Mitzvah observance. Living with mesiras nefesh and not allowing himself to get lost in the Tayvos and materialism of America. We dont “want” to die. We want to live and do Mitzvos!!!