Sean – I think you are underestimating the Rabbis these days. I thank many are very understanding of special needs. The sign of a good Rabbi (IMHO!) is one who doesn’t answer what he doesn’t fully understand, but DOES have a big index card file full of numbers of colleagues who DO understand the issue being discussed! And which he doesn’t hesitate to use as needed!
My son has sensory issues as well – tho not tactile – more proprioceptive and vestibular. he looks ADHD, with all the fidgeting he does, but is not. it does take a lot of explaining.
he also has some of the lack of pragmatics and social cue recognition mentioned – also not to the same degree. That requires explanations to adults, but I find kids either accept him as is, or they don’t – and explanations don’t help.