cofeefan, well in that case I will tell you a few coaching tips.
Take two deep breaths before responding to anyone, that will give you a chance to guard your tongue before your mouth runs away with your thoughts.
Understand that you can’t change people you can only change yourself, and you can’t control people, you can only control yourself. So if it is you that caused the drama, you ask yourself, “what could I have done differently to bring about a different outcome?” and then you walk yourself through the motions through to the conclusion. That will help you gain control of yourself and figure out the next step which will either be to apologize of make a correction. And of course to know how to handle it the next time.
If it was something someone else did, like traffic for instance, then the question would be “what can I do to control this situation, or what can I do to change this situation” As you think about this and realize that there is nothing you can do other than pull over at the next rest stop and wait it out, or leave earlier or later next time to avoid it, your next thought could be, if there is nothing I can do about it, what can I do with it?” So what can you do with the time that you are stuck in traffic? Call your wife? Listen to Torah Tape? Listen to music? Go over your speech for tomorrow?
If it is something that is related to work, then if “I can’t control the situation, then what can I do to change the situation?” and walk yourself through that scenario. Is there something that you could have done? Is there something that you should have done? If not realize again that you can’t control other people you can only control how you react and respond to other people. So now that you were handed this situation, what is the best way for YOU to handle it. THAT you can control, that is your choice.
The key is to try to understand where the stress is coming from and to understand whether or not YOU are in control of the situation. Either way, YOU are still in control of the choices you make regarding it. I hope that helps.