HaLeivi & Moq
Exactly. I am not one to bring up an issue like this with a family member since I dont like to start machlokes. I just thought it exceedingly disrespectful of my cousin (who really IS a big masmid, and has the chops to back it up) who was seated next to my Grandfather at a Shabbos Sheva Brachos, didnt say a word to him the entire meal, continued learning throughout his speech, wasnt helpful in the way of passing food. In essence he was just taking up a seat.
I really do hate throwing around chazals but if this is not what they meant when they said “derech eretz kadma latorah” I dont know what they did.