So that the mekatrieg in Shamayim should not look down and say “these are Yidden?” thereby creating an even more tragic nine days…
Yes, people may say insensitive comments. Yes, they may be hurtful. Yes, they may be not nice, and they may hurt.
But I PROMISE YOU, that %99.9 percent of them are really nice people (other wise they wouldn’t be coming to be menachem the avel ?) and just didn’t realize it was hurtful/ insulting!
You are right, some comments are just so out of the ball park- how could that thought even enter someone’s mind?? But still, they are saying it AND THEY ARE TRYING TO CARE IN THEIR OWN WAY!
Some people like to talk, others don’t. For the peson coming in to a Shiva house, it’s a little uncomfortable and they might not know what to say!
and hopefully most people never had a chance to be an avel and don’t know.
Have we (myself INCLUDED) ever said something, just to slap our head and say “What was i thinking! How could i have said such a thing!”
just as a side point, I also REALLY don’t appreciate it when people ask questions about something that is totally not their business. It’s so hard to be dan lekaf zechus sometimes…