Reply To: Help With Keeping Tznius

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#705246
internetmaven
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Tryingtoimprove – I applaud you! I live out of town and all of the frum girls that I see (including my own) always wear long skirts and tights, winter and summer. Until I read a bunch of recent posts I never thought that short skirts and bare legs were such a problem. Apparently, I was wrong.

Many people talk about tznius and about making commitments to improve themselves. Despite being the possible object of ridicule you have taken a giant leap and deserve much praise.

As a mother of teenage girls I know firsthand the difficulty that teenagers have communicating with their parents about sensitive issues. From experience, I can also tell you that a parent appreciates it when a child opens the line of communication, even if the child wants to deviate from their upbringing (positively or negatively). A few years ago one of my children took on a chumrah that I didn’t keep. My first reaction was negative — are my standards not good enough for you? Later, when I thought about it, I realized that I was dead wrong. My child wanted to improve herself, why should I stand in her way? I apologized for my reaction and encouraged her to follow her conviction.

About year later, I decided to take on the same chumrah. After all, I needed improvement as well.

If you can muster the strength, sit down with your mother and have a heart to heart talk with her. I’ll bet that you will be surprised with the results.

In addition, don’t be surprised if, eventually, your mother and sisters follow your example and enhance their tznius as well. After all, long skirts and tights are not so bad! (I know as I have been wearing them every day, winter and summer, for close to 40 years).

Good luck and may H’ continue to bless you and guide you.