The system is what makes good frum kids go off. Plain and simple. You can blame things from today till tomorrow, and yes there may be other factors, but the root of the problem is the system and once that changes, I think there will be less kids going off.
There are many kids that are going off inside (there was a Mishpacha article about that) they don’t really care about Yiddishkeit inside they are just pretending on the outside cuz they learn that’s all thats really important.
Call yourself a Bais Yaakov, but unless you act like one you aren’t. You’re lying! What message are you teaching kids? The basic things of faith in Hashem, they preach to you all the time but the way they act is the total opposite. I’m a kid in the system right now, you can take my word for what I’m saying.
I’m a good frum girl. I was in a Bais Yaakov and hated it. And it wasn’t just my school. My friend’s friend got suspended for asking a question on Emunah or something like that. When kids get that message, then what’s the point? Why should I live a life of restrictions, that’s all that the school is teaching them. They don’t teach about the beauty of Judaism and if you try to find it, then you’re like an apikorus.
They try to fit you into a mold and if you don’t want to be a teacher in BY and have 25 kids while living off a kollel paycheck in a basement apartment in Lakewood then you aren’t frum. Judaism is taught as all or nothing. But it’s not like that!!
A kid who is having a hard time with Tznius or another mitzva, why should they try to fix it? They’re burning in hell either way, so why not just transgress all the others cuz you’re doomed either way.
People become so focused on the small things that aren’t even Halacha and make them into Halacha and just focus on externals. (that did not just make sense. sorry) Judaism is a way of living. It’s not supposed to strangle you, and if it does there is something wrong!
Sorry for ranting but it’s a really sore topic for me, becuase it’s just soooo messed up and someone needs to do something about it quick!!!!