To answer the original question about who defines a ben torah..
Someone who is an erliche yid. Someone who understands ‘lehavdil bein yisroel l’amim’ he is proud to be a Yid. By having that pride he lives with the torah all the time and is not tempted to go even a small distance from the torah. By doing that he will seak the advice of rabbanim at all times and will have an Ahavas Yisroel- if he is a ‘harry,’ ‘ben torah,’ ‘brisker,’ ‘tuna beigel,’ BP Totty’ etc..
bekitzur someone who brings Koved Shomayim to this world..