Smile E Face – like others have said, it is impressive that at your age you’ve gone ahead and done all that.
I’ve recently learned with my “partner in Torah” a wonderful lesson on “Divine Providence”, about the necessity of intellectual pursuit of truth… and why we may not be able to resolve all our doubts… bringing all sources together on this topic, from the Ramchal, to Rambam, etc.
Here’s the link – it may make you feel alot better:
http://www.jewishstudies.org/courses/foundations5/information.asp
There’s a limit to our “time” (lets put aside intellect for now) to delve into concepts to resolve our doubts… and sometimes, even if we get to resolve, layer by layer – by the time we get to study/learn/delve into it again – we may have lost what we gained last time (and we’re almost back to sqaure 1.)