frumladygit & frumeyid –
Thank you, what you said means a lot to me.
As for next steps, I think you have the right idea about learning to say no when you don’t want to do it (and yes when you want to).
If I can offer one piece of advice regarding these relationships (very common, both in relationships between young people and between adults), it’s this: If your efforts to gain approval are hurting your self-esteem, don’t wait too long for the other person to come around. Move on and find someone else to focus your energy on. Chances are the person who will appreciate you as a friend the way you are will accept you right away. And you will feel good about the relationship right away.