Reply To: When does doing Chesed become called "being used"?

I have thought into this whole business, since receiving all your insights. And have awakened, sensitively to the painful reality she must live in each time I have done a CHESED for her-what it must represent in her mind. Imagine, if she thinks favors are done as an personal investment for future need, she must have been perceiving each act of generosity or thoughtfulness on my part (done of my own initiative out of caring) to be of an intimidating nature. In other words, it makes sense why if when I see an item on sale, and which she could use, and I am anyways buying one for myself I think to get one for her but she responds cooly. And like not happy.

This situation can reveal a lot about human psychology. People generally interpret things according to what they believe things are. She thinks acts of kindness are basically so you can get things out of others. Imagine. Each time I gave, its no wonder I did not get a thank you. It was a burden to her, in a way because she expected i’d ask something of her.