Numbers should be checked before dating (after all other research and mutual assent). I saw two friends get a no from dor yeshorim – one after a fifth date, and one after a fourth. Both deeply gut wrenching and traumatic for both parties. It’s a phone call. Dor Yeshorim is happy to do it (they write it one their brochure, asking that people check before dating) – just do it. People get a no. Whadaya need it for? There’s enough heartbreak in shidduchim.
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