Nobody said that “the frum family is stuck up, and that everyone who doesn’t wear exactly the same type hat as us isn’t good enough to stand in the same room with.”
You didn’t answer my questions.
1) Why is it permissible to attend a Simcha in a non-Orthodox venue, according to Halacha?
2) As “a family of many Yeshivish cousins,” which you write above that you are (and you do use the word Yeshivish);
then when you’re at a non-Orthodox Simcha;
how do you handle the men in your group not watching the women dance at the Simcha, without a Mechitza to maintain Tznius (which is why I asked if the men in your group sit with their backs to the dancing);
and how do you handle the mixed dancing at the Simcha? Do you join in the mixed dancing?