I would like to address the issues here:
1. Non- frum relatives. Not a problem for me growing up. Everyone has some distant frum relatives and we know them.
2. No yichus. Who said? Many BTs DO have yichus. Many FFBs don’t. I know some people who became BTs because they have yichus and feel they should be living up to it.
3. Taharas Hamishpacha issues: only apply to BT themselves, not to their kids.
4. Understanding of shidduchim: Most BTs have a harder time getting married and get married later than FFBs. Beleive me they are quite educated as to the shidduch system!!
5. Upbringing: Depends on the educational level of the parents. In my experience, if anything kids of BTs are much more aware of why they are frum than others. You can read my posts and decide for yourself if children of BTs are less than children of FFBs in any way.
As for the oldest: well I am, hope that didn’t give away my identity.
6. FFB marrying BT: I think there are more problems with this than BT marrying BT. Why would an FFB marry a BT? I know several couples where an FFB with problems married a wonderful BT person. However, the children I know seem to have come out the same as kids of FFB or BT couples.
7. (because “kol hashvi’in chavivin”) People put way too much stock in these things. There are lots of ppl who you have NO idea are BTs and lots of people who went thru all kinds of problems, and no amount of research will guarantee you anything.
“Atzas Hashem Hi Sakum”
We all have our place and mission in the world and the only thing we should be looking for perfection in is serving Hashem.