mdd, you say that pressure “may” help some people. You’re right – it “may.” But I wouldn’t take the risk. I think it’s safe to say that probably 80% of people, especially young girls, will rebel if pressured too much, will resent the object of the pressure, and will chas veshalom go to the opposite extreme in defiance and start dressing really pritzusdik, as opposed to wearing a shirt that’s just a bit too tight or a skirt that doesn’t cover when they get into a car. No, pressure is not the answer unless you’re working on a case-by-case basis and KNOW for a fact that it will help one specific person with whom you’re working.
Pashuteh Yid, the pockets go in the front and the zipper in the back 🙂 What did you fight about with your daughter? She wanted to wear a skirt that didn’t fit the dress code and you didn’t let, or the other way around?
apushutayid (these SNs are getting confusing!), thank you for bringing up the “zona” point. I wanted to say the same thing. Name-calling will get you nowhere, at best; at worst, it will turn people off. The people that we’re discussing are not dressing like zonas, b”H, and we don’t want them to try to show us what zonas dress like to prove us wrong, if you get my drift.
I for one would be disgusted if some stranger ever told me that I was dressed improperly, and would tell them that in no uncertain terms. How do you know that I’m not a baalas teshuva who is trying to improve little by little? How do you know that this is not considered a major change for me? (Incidentally, I’m not, but many are.) A comment like that could make someone decide that their efforts are not worth it anymore and just give up on trying to become better. Don’t do it. It’s not worth it. You could turn someone off for good, chas veshalom, and you wouldn’t want that to happen on your account, would you? Strangers are not your business. If you want to rebuke someone for tznius issues, start with your own family and see how that goes over. And then – don’t move on to anyone else! It’s not your place!