from another perspective:
i was brought up totally frum. i am a bais yaakov girl. i am out of high school. i am out of seminary. i have learned about tznius over and over and over, and it IS a beautiful thing. we had one yom iyun in seminary about tznius, and it was ssssoooooo inspiring.
but you know what? I have a skirt. it is four inches below my knee. my sister thinks it’s too short. my mother thinks it’s fine. i wear it on shabbos. to shul. none of the women have ever told me anything. the rebbetzin has never told me anything, nor has she given me any looks when i go over to her to wish her good shabbos. i am complimented on this skirt.
you know what? when it comes to tznius, ppl are on different levels. what some ppl see as short, others might think is ok. what some ppl see as tight, some might see as fine. when i look at someone, i don’t measure how long her skirt is. what hits me first is whether or not the whole outfit gives off a nice, put together, bais yaakov look (obviously, if i saw someone with a skirt that was so obviously too short, she would not fit in this category). now, i am speaking for myself, here. i personally think that the skirt that i have is fine. and if ppl would one day start coming up to me and criticizing me about the length of this skirt, if it would make me think again about it, i still wouldn’t get rid of it right away. it would be hard for me. not everyone can change their standards of tznius in a split second. if you can, kol hakavod. apparently, i’m not on that level yet. maybe with H-Shem’s help, one day i will be. maybe one day i will notice that my skirt is too short. maybe one day i will get rid of it, but it’s gonna take some time.
so please, i know that tznius is very precious and can’t be messed with, but not everyone is on your level. that’s what we are in this world for, to come closer to H-Shem, to perfect ourselves. if we would all be perfect already, there would be no reason for us to exist.