I agree that tznius is spoken about too much. The lesson should be one dresses with dignity, and from the knees to the chest to the upper arms are covered at all times. This should be it.
There is no halacha that one cannot wear high heels. It is a matter of judgment. If it is a halacha, then please tell me exactly how many inches is the max for a heel. One author discusses the exact colors of socks because of refelecting light. This is not halacha, either. He also forbids too long skirts or denim skirts. Please show me where this is forbidden.
I once saw a camp list for my daughter and it said the zipper or the pockets of the skirt could only be in the front or the back. I don’t remember which one and which way now. I actually fought with my daughter and made her feel bad. I was naive.
Let us not make up new things and focus on the actual halacha. Driving girls crazy with things like how tight the sleeves can be has no basis in halacha either. If you decide to invent new daily chumras, you will lose big time in the end. A girl is allowed to make herself attractive, and when dating, her father is supposed to dress her so well that people jump on her (shehakol yikfitzu aleha).
Note that Reb Moshe writes that in a place where the custom of all the women is to dress a certain way which does not conform to halachic requirements, while we must encourage our daughters to dress better for extra tznius, it is not halchachically considered pritzus, since it is the normal mode of dress (I guess within certain obvious limits).
Most girls have neshamos tehoros and would never even know that they can be machsil men, as they do not consider themselves so attractive. Even when they make a tznius mistake, they do it without even realizing that anybody would look there. They are innocent and pure maidelach. Most never realize what these things are all about until they get married.
If one puts a bug in their head that they are big-time objects and this is drummed into them every day at school, then what does that do to their neshamos? Let us make our homes clean, as mentioned before, from improper things, and let us keep their neshamos pure. Get them so involved with their schoolwork and chessed projects that they don’t have time for any other thoughts to creep into their heads.
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