eclipse:
How can a person ‘forgive’ an abuser?
The abuser:
***> Comes up with multiple reasons why the abused had it coming to him/her. So, the abuser takes ZERO responsibility for his/her actions.
***> Gives a half-baked “apology” for one reason only. That reason is, TO CONTINUE THE CYCLE OF ABUSE. When he/she sees the abused becoming resistant to the abuse, they try and soften the abused person’s resolve with an ‘apology’.
***> Believes ‘echta ve’ashuv, I will sin and then, I’ll repent’. Such people the halacha says are not worthy of, nor is forgiveness mandated. This is because, all they want is another chance at abusing you or someone else.
To “Forgive” an abuser is NOT middas chassidus. A person who does this is a Chassid Shotah. Abusers only learn when their lesson when the clamps are put on, NOT before. If you truly care about an abuser, turn up the pressure on them.