emoticon613:
Thank you for making this valuable comment!
I know this might unplug a hornet’s nest, BUT…..
There is NO SUCH THING in Judaism called, ‘forgive and forget’, or ‘get over the anger”? The only people who use such terminology are the ABUSERS who seek to deny what the ‘weaker’ person should be feeling.
The onus for allowing the abused person to heal is on society at large to make sure that:
1] Once the abuse becomes known, the ABUSED is protected by the community.
2] The appropriate shilos should be asked by responsible community members to help guide the situation further.
3] If the psak is that the abused should sever all contact with the abuser, the ABUSED person’s needs and comforts trump those of the abuser.
4] The community should remove the ABUSER from ALL positions of power (both paid and unpaid leadership positions).
Anger is an emotion. The baalei mussar were not telling a person NOT to think in an emotional level. RAGE is the action taken by a person who’s emotion of anger takes control over the situation. This is what is what is referred to by ‘whoever gets angry is as if they worshipped idols’, NOT the emotion called anger.