“Oomis, did you ever read what the Meforshim say on why the Masechta starts with Moshe Kibel Torah? They say that it is pointing out that this Masechta is Torah, not personal opinions based on experience or what the nations did (the famous Mekor for everything Chazal say), or perhaps what they read on a Cheerios box. “
The Torah shebichsav and the Torah sheb’al Peh are both m’Sinai. One Rov disagreeing with another, seems to not be, though the inyan they are discussing is m’Sinai. When we say Eilu V’eilu divrei Elokim Chayim, it is their words. Hashem only gave ONE p’sak of what we need to do. Assur, Mutar. If two or 10 rabbanim cannot get a consensus of what the definite law is, then what they are arguing is their own personal (albeit, very learned and authoritative)INTERPRETATION of what Hashem’s Ratzon is. They cannot ALL be right at the same time, much as we give lip service to that idea.
Ultimately it has to come down to majority rule (remember the Bas Kol that said one specific rov was correct, but we follow the rule of all the others). So if all of those rabbonim were wrong and Hashem really wanted us to do what the other rov said, then this presents a dilemma in terms of what the Torah means to convey. Still, we follow the decision of the majority, because it is crucial to follow authority, and no one will successfully say nay on that.
As to chumros – my ONE AND ONLY concern is that people who are machmir look upon the rest of us no-goodniks who are merely following the Torah, as lesser Yidden. Do not bother to deny it. It is a singular gaiveh that I have seen over and over again, even here in the CR. The fact that someone cannot simply say, “You know what Oomis, or whoever – you are actually right (if and when I occasionally am), but I just feel more comfortable doing XYZ the chumrah, because it helps me to not be nichsal in ABC,” then I would not feel that way. As soon as you or anyone else here asserts that something like mixed seating or cholov stam, or allowing boys and girls to talk to each other, or that making shidduchim WITHOUT a shadchan are all shandas, and you are smug because you don’t do ANY of those things, you have regarded yourself with gaivah. And call me overly sensitive, but I am bothered.
I know what many of my own failings are, and I try to work on them, and have succeeded in some areas. But not one of those areas is in regard to mixed conversation or simcha seating, or having company on Shabbos. I try to be less judgmental (don’t always succeed, granted), try to not speak or listen to L”H (I REALLY need to work on that part of myself – that is an uphill battle), and I need to delete more of what I post here, I guess.