Well informed, whether your posek paskened that the past can remain in the past or not, is irrelevant between two human beings who wish to become as one. We are not talking about halacha we are talking about human nature. I believe that you are a male. Would you have wanted to marry someone with a past? And if she had a past would you be ok not knowing what it was? Could you become one with her and not have questions and doubts? Would you not want to know the whole truth so that nothing would come out in the future that could hurt you or your relationship?
As a female I can tell you that even if I could forgive a past, I would still want to know what it was. I certainly would not want to marry someone or have my child marry someone and then have some young woman approach him in the street to reminisce or even say hello to him and then I would wonder what his relationship was?
That is my point about bringing ghosts into a marriage. So the psak is irrelevant. It does not take the feelings and considerations of the future issues into account which can ultimately lead to divorce.
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