Since we’re reprising/rehashing -l’toeles harabim, of course – I’ll so a brief best of myself and then ask a question.
First, Midwest2, good that you (and others) have brought up other factors. Let’s say that the age gap is the major issue. It’s a significant chunk of the pie to the shidduch crisis, let’s say a 40% factor. There is still 60% of other factors to consider and work on with as much energy and passion, IMO. There’s the chanoch l’naar issue, there’s the support issue, there’s all the other mishegos, there’s a lot to work with but since AZ is making the rules, I guess we can’t discuss it here. But we ignore it at our peril.
Now for the question. Say there’s a 23/24 y.o. guy and you know a girl for him who is simply perfect, absolutely what he needs and is looking for but she’s 3 or more years younger. Do we not suggest the shidduch? Ask the boy to wait till she’s 22? Does the rosh yeshiva decline to be mesader kiddushin, because if we’re not working on the solution we’re part of the problem? Should we feel guilty? I just know of a few great shidduchim wherein the girls are younger, and not within AZ’s guidelines to heal the demographics crisis.