I read the original letter BP Totty refers to and think that DK summed it up well this past week. Hatzlacha to the family.
BUT it seemed apparent that these people did have options. For an out of towner, who has no sem in town or only one that is clearly not for her, and whose parents want her to go to sem with a good chevra, there may not be options. To send a young girl to an apartment in NY without supervision for a vocational program and night sem just won’t work. We need more good dorm sems in the US because it’s not so simple not just to buck the trend, but to do so with certain kids. But the shidduch problems from not going to sem seem overrated. My friends haven’t run into that.
As far as boys and their “year” – if I was sending a son davka for a year straight from high school I would only send to one of the yeshivos that have well supervised full service (i.e. meals) dorms. They’re out there. Personally, if my boys go, it will be at the time that is right for them, and their growth. Interestingly, their rosh yeshiva is not for boys going so young.
For parents who want their boys to have an early, solid Israel experience, I saw ads for an Elul-Tishrei yeshiva under phenomenal hanhala. Maybe this trend will expand, so boys can get a taste of E”Y now that it’s fairly accessible, assess their options, and get back to learn in chu”l if that’s where they’ll really flourish.